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“Walk me home first. I am already getting late.” She brushed some strands of her hair away from her forehead. We were coming back from auditorium after the night show. Tsherings looks had always drawn appreciative comments from friends and school teachers.

“I am already late, Father will scream at me”. “So, let me come with you’. I Said.

‘No’. She blinked.

‘Why’? I looked up to make eye contact with her. ‘I can handle it’ Tshering said as she examined the black and white patterns of bitumen black road.

She grabbed my wrist. ‘You are coming with me to console my father right now’? She held my hand and swung it back and forth as I walked her home happily. The evening sky with orange has completely vanished. I smiled. We walked past the noisy shopping streets of Mongar. Though I like her holding my hand, I wanted to tell her not to hold my hand anymore.

‘What’? She said. ‘Why are staring? I am holding your hand so that you don’t runaway’. Our eyes met. I broke my eye contact quickly. Best friends, that all we are, I told myself.

Bye! She said. I was wondering that whole night if she had also started to feel differently about me.

“Drugdra Dorji”, the class teacher with thick moustache called out and held up an answer sheet. He walked past the forty students in the crammed classroom to collect his answer sheet. Drugdra and I were a friend since our childhood days. Once, we had battled a small, round hot case during lunch break. Neither of us could open this.

“Get lost of it, Karma. The class will be back at any time”. Drugdra said. Fear of starving had flushed our face red allover.

“Ninety-five out of hundred. Well done, Drugdra Dorji”. The teacher said. A boy next me whispered as Drugdra walked past. “HE IS A TOPPER”.

“See here, Karma”, the teacher frowned. ‘You need sixty plus to be safe’. I nodded and tears filled my round eye. Different thoughts have immersed me in deep Pacific Ocean. All of that, my father had turned 65 this year. He always wants me to be officer in the following years to come. His non-stop coughing and white hair made him look like an eighty years old man. The doctors had given up. I was more concerned about his health than my exam paper. As time passed by, dusk had ruled the sky, while I was few meters away from my little thatched house.

The sound of cough could over rule the sound of banging door. ‘Wait’ he said, opening the door.

‘We are ready for supper. You might be hungry’ As I silently open the led, thinking for some special dinner, auffff,..,, it was as usual. A potato and rice.

I ate in silence. I didn’t want to bring up the disastrous topic.

“Exam paper……..” he started and paused to cough for couple of times. I understood his drift before he could complete his sentence.

I shrugged my shoulder. “Not yet father’. ‘It would be tentatively disclosed by next week. I said nervously. “You can beat the exam. I know my son could do it. You are bright’. I swallowed hard and wiped my eyes before turning to him. His words has haunted me for whole night. It is harder to manage family expectation than anything.

Telling your parents you have failed at something that they expect is harder than the actual failure.

“I knew my result father”. I said.

“And”? He said with high hope that I could disseminate world’s happiest person’s story.

“I am loser. I think will not get anywhere”. This disheartening news had changed his expression. He could not speak even a word to describe me a loser. However, I destroyed his happiness. I thought if I should suggest some option to be a good son hereafter. But he silently moved to is private bedroom with head hung so low. The night passed without a word with him.

“I am scared, Tshering”. I said in a small voice.

‘Why’? She said.

‘I will get nowhere in life’. I said.

‘Rascal’, she said with a firm smile on her face. “So people who don’t have a top score in exam get nowhere in life”? I don’t know. I feel so defeated. I whispered her. The day I spend her makes my bad thoughts rid away. The angle to my reason for happiness.

I thought I had to meet Drugdra. I have not even congratulated him. After all, we had been friends for almost five years. One should be thrilled about his success. I practiced fake miles for several times while pressing is door bell. He opened the door and hugged me straight off as he used to do in bygone days.

‘Hello my best friend, nice to see you’. He said.

“Congratulation Mr”, I said. My head bend low with lips stretched into a smile. ‘Now I can say that I know a legend’.

I returned back to home. It seems very unusual today. The world became so silent, normal birds chirping in a melodious voice were absent from their routine. I consoled myself that everything will be okay. As I knocked the door for three times, dad seems to be silent. I tried for another couple of times. But he did not respond for my permission for entry. He kept quiet.

“FATHER………” It finally dawned on me. I had become orphan. I did not know how to react to dads still body. I did not, or rather could not cry. Because I was stunned and emotionally drained out. I could lay down but could not sleep as tears rolled down my rugged cheeks. The stupid exam with cross marks had changed my life forever.

Days and month had been passed drenched in a salty tears. I was really missing my angle ‘Tshering’. The phone beeped in vibration. It was her, as I thought of her few hours back.

“Hello karma..”

“Hy”... I said.

She breathed audibly before she spoke again. “Karma, I sent you an invitation card for my marriage with Drugdra. Make your presence.” These words resembles an iron sword stabbed in my heart. I was again drenched into tears. The magnified love and affection for her is incomplete. Instinctively, I composed a congratulation message to my best friend’s marriage with Tshering. 

I went off on the bed with tears wetted over the pillow.